Tuesday, August 07, 2007

It's so hot in Charlotte...

On Monday I was down in Columbia to hang out with some of the fabulous folks at The State newspaper. We talked a lot about the heat.

As many of you know, Columbia is the hottest place in the South and one of the hottest places not located directly on the surface of the sun. Today in Columbia it was a balmy 102 degrees. The good news is, there's also humidity. You can leave a live chicken and a can of Crisco on the sidewalk and come back to find an 8-piece box.

So in honor of the heat (and in tribute to Johnny Carson) The State asked readers to finish the sentence: "It's so hot in Columbia that..."

You can see the results here. And although a couple are fairly funny, I have to think the intelligent and sophisticated residents of Charlotte can do better.

And it was 100 degrees here today, so you don't want to be going outside, right?

So let's hear it in the comments: It's so hot in Charlotte...

Bonus points for local references, of course.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

...I feel like I'm in Fort Valley, GA. When my family moved NORTH we thought we were getting away from this hot weather! :)

Anonymous said...

It's so hot in Charlotte.....

You'd think it was a nonstop CMS board meeting what with all the surplus of hot air.


Mayor McCrory breaks a sweat just by opening a bottle of Miller Lite.

The guy that plays Sir Purr at BofA stadium deserves a place in the Panthers ring of honor.

You can easily cook pasta in the water at Carowinds' waterpark Boomerang Bay.

Anonymous said...

... you wish you were in Columbia.

Anonymous said...

It's so hot in Charlotte...

... that Paris Hilton has changed her catchphrase to "That's so Charlotte."

... that Ruth's Chris Steakhouse has renamed itself to Ruth's Chris Sidewalk Grill.

... that Satan has rented out his Charlotte home and gone back to Hell to cool down.

... that the recent sci-fi movie Sunshine was filmed on location here.

Anonymous said...

It's so hot in Charlotte...

I'm too tired to be mad at Pat "Fratboy" McRory.

Gang violence is at zero because drive-bys require rolling down windows.

Southpark Mall looks a lot more like Eastland with all the cheap flip-flops and inappropriately short shorts.

The traffic by Lake Norman is slow because drivers are jumping, not because of babes in bikinis.

Everybody is ok for illegal immigrants just for awhile cause that grass ain't gonna cut itself.

Anonymous said...

LNBruno said:

...I thought I stepped in gum, but it was just the soles of my shoes melting on the sidewalk.

Anonymous said...

It's so hot in Charlotte that Satan is considering annexing Mecklenburg County.

It's so hot that my dog yearns for the good ol' Dog Days of Summer.

Ol' Barn said...

It's so hot in Charloltte.....

Even the Bobcats are a hot team for once!!!