Monday, October 17, 2011

A day at the fair

We went to the N.C. State Fair on Saturday, along with (and this is an unofficial crowd estimate) 42 million other people. The state fair is one of the great sensory feasts in all of America -- so much to see, hear, smell, taste and touch. Here are a few of the sights -- and a couple of little stories I imagined along the way.

It's a blast to just check out the artwork on the rides... they pay great attention to detail on the art (I hope they pay as much attention to making sure the rides don't fling people halfway to Durham). If we knew aliens would be this comely, I think we'd all welcome our new alien overlords.

Gilding the Lily Dept.: They had deep-fried Oreos, deep-fried Snickers, deep-fried Twinkies, deep-fried cheesecake, deep-fried butter, deep-fried Kool-Aid... which, it turns out, is just Kool-Aid mixed into funnel-cake batter. We tried the deep-fried Reese's Cups. I'm ashamed to say, they were really good.

We found the Great Pumpkin.

"Do not feed your fingers to the donkeys" is such an odd way to say "Don't stick your fingers through the donkey cage, dunce." Maybe somebody was inspired by the first-ever "Saturday Night Live" sketch.

It goes without saying that "Toggenburg Goats" would be a great name for a rock band.

What a downer -- to get all the way to the state fair and find out you're only the second-best meat goat.

We ended up outside one of the livestock buildings as they brought lambs in and out. I'm not sure how you get a coat that shiny. Fried Kool-Aid, maybe.

The crab shrimp were better than I expected -- even though you had to devein them AND crack the claws.

My wife tried to cleanse her palate with vegetables. Yeah, those were fried too.

"The World's Largest Gummi Bear sat still and silent. Those puny ropes would never hold it. It waited for the right time. And then it would punish all those people who ate all his little chewy friends..."

"Angie knew her child was... different. He insisted on that Batman costume. And he always rode upside-down in the stroller. But he was a happy boy, as long as she caught him enough mosquitoes to eat."


Anonymous said...

Love the Gummi Bear caption!!

Angela Bensberg said...

me too! and the batman caption. and shouldn't it be goat meat, not meat goat?

Anonymous said...

"Meat goat" means the goat is still alive. "Goat meat" would mean it's already been slaughtered for the meat.

Anonymous said...

Thanks Tommy... you just saved me a drive.

Anonymous said...

The fall festival in Watkinsville, GA this weekend featured chocalate covered bacon. I had never seen/tasted that before. Pretty good!

Anonymous said...

I was headed to the fair this week, but I guess I'd better bring my own lunch after Tommy cleared the concessions out.

Anonymous said...

Really don't get this or any other state fair.

Thank you, Tommy, for confirming my long-held views.

the situation said...

Another example of how Tomlinson's insightful, hard-hitting commentary has made the Observer what it is today and why McClatchy's stock has soared to $1.54 a share! IT was much smarter to send Tomlinson than let the boobs at the Raleigh Observer handle this important assignment.

Maybe next week Mark Washburn will visit the Great Pumpkin!

tommy tomlinson said...

Situation, I went to the fair on my own time... nobody sent me anywhere. I do appreciate your deep concern for our business practices. By the way, your abs are sagging.

Anonymous said...

You tell that slob, Tommy! Right on, baby, right on, right on, right on! You don't gotta take that from that goon!