Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Spring has splattered

Well, you know spring is coming because the daffodils are starting to bloom, and some mornings it's warm enough to sit on the porch, and birds have crapped all over my car.

I'm not sure what I have done to the bird kingdom. We have a feeder in the backyard and occasionally even fill it. Last year we let doves make a nest on the porch. We have several CDs by the Jayhawks (although none by the Eagles*).

*I'm totally stealing this footnote-in-the-blog thing from my friend Joe Posnanski, who probably stole it from David Foster Wallace or any number of other famous footnoters. OK, there probably aren't any number of other famous footnoters. The point is, does anyone really need to own an Eagles record? If you need to hear the Eagles, just turn on a classic-rock station or a country station or an easy-listening station and wait 15 minutes. One of the VH1 family of channels is probably playing the Eagles reunion show at this very moment. Yet the Eagles' first greatest-hits record is still the best-selling album of all time in the U.S. -- 29 million copies. That's an awful lot of people who just have to hear "Witchy Woman" RIGHT NOW.

It's possible that a bird perched outside our window might have seen me laugh at this story that compares Barack Obama to Bugs Bunny and Hillary Clinton to Daffy Duck. So it's possible that word got around the bird community that the guy in the green Camry was laughing at Daffy again.

Birds stick together.

Whatever the reason, this was not just the work of one bird. This was a whole squadron. They nailed the hood, the windshield, the windows, even the doors. I'd think it would be hard to hit a door from such a high angle. Maybe some birds are like those trick-shot artists in pool.

If you have ideas for keeping birds from dive-bombing your car -- ideas that don't involve a shotgun -- pass them on in the comments.

Oh, and I guess it goes without saying that I just got the car washed last week.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

ummmm, did you run the title of this post by your editors?

tommy tomlinson said...

Wow. I thought I had just made it up. Fixed now. Clearly I am not spending enough time with the Urban Dictionary.

Anonymous said...

I saw the original title as well. Sounds like somebody has been looking up too many dirty websites. Funny stuff!

Anonymous said...

actually it was my 14 year old son, who started laughing hysterically, and wouldn't show me why. No worries though, I enjoy Tommy's columns.

Chris said...

want a solution? one word...Garage.

Anonymous said...

Do you park under a tree? If you walk around downtown near the stadium you will see tons of it on the sidewalk under every tree in the spring. I think they let it fly right after dark and right before daylight.

Anonymous said...

hey, just curious ... what was the original blog title? I won't make fun of it, promise.

Anonymous said...

Spring and Fling?

Anonymous said...

The Jayhawks freakin rock!!! The Eagles...do not.

eye_dee_ten_tea said...

Tommy may have fixed the title, but it looks like the original title is still in the web address.

Tsk, tsk. ;-)

Anonymous said...

Tommy Im so ready for Spring! Everyday I hear a mockingbird, Redbird and Redtail hawk and Crows I just love the birds here I find the birds real nice here; Im from OHIO and we dont have anything like this in the way of selection; Tom I wish it would never get cold here because I like to wear shorts and tee shirts;

Anonymous said...

Tommy I wish I could trap a few ring neck doves and sand doves from Charleston to breed here; I find their HOOOOooooooing very unique and soooooothing. I love going to my Brothers house in Winter Haven , Fl. the sand Dove is all over the place and he has sand cranes come right up in his back yard and he feeds them. Sand Cranes have a red hair dew much like the end of a professional dart. They have a unique sound. Tommy I hope Cedar Point does the bird thing like TAMPA Busch Garden where we can enjoy them all around us.