Thursday, August 02, 2007

Time to make some trades

If you follow sports you know that this was a big week for trades. In the NBA, the Boston Celtics traded half their team -- and, I think, the old Boston Garden parquet -- for superstar Kevin Garnett.

The baseball trading deadline was also this week, and a bunch of deals went down -- the main one being in Atlanta, where the Braves traded one hard-to-pronounce player for another.

It's always fun to fantasize about sports trades. But here's your challenge for the day: Come up with a Carolinas trade that DOESN'T involve sports.

For example: We went to Baltimore a few weeks ago. I'd trade uptown Charlotte for downtown Baltimore in a heartbeat. Baltimore has a harbor, a fabulous aquarium, a neoclassic baseball park, and the beautiful and disturbing American Visionary Arts Museum.

Our uptown is a lot better than it was 10 years ago. It's an up-and-comer. But downtown Baltimore is a proven veteran. I'd make the deal.

Sports trades have two unofficial rules:

1) You trade value for value. Nobody's going to give you Paris if you're offering Pineville. Sometimes you have to throw in a little extra -- if we're swapping downtowns with Baltimore, maybe we have to toss in SouthPark to sweeten the deal.

2) Having said that, you want to get the best of the deal, but you want the other guy to think HE got the best of it.

So that's the idea. Would you trade our mayor for some other leader of roughly equal value? Our trees for some other city's nightlife? Would you give away a great Carolinas barbecue joint for somebody else's crab shack?

Start dealing below. And justify your trades. The commissioner (um, me) has final authority over all transactions. Don't make me start testing for steroids.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Would you trade our mayor for some other leader of roughly equal value? Our trees for some other city's nightlife? Would you give away a great Carolinas barbecue joint for somebody else's crab shack?"

Yes. Yes. And yes.

Because, in the immortal words of the song: "something for nothing (and the chicks are free)."

Anonymous said...

I live in Baltimore. I would trade it for half a warm six-pack. That 6 square blocks you love is surrounded by 10 square miles of wasteland. Give me uptown anyday. I'd trade nascar for hockey, but that's just me.

Anonymous said...

I would trade our Bobcats team name plus a 3rd round draft pick for our old Hornets team name.

I would trade our whitewater center on the outskirts of town for a real river running through downtown surrounded by hike and bike trails (like they have in Austin TX).

Anonymous said...

I would trade the Knights for someone with enough vision to bring Major League baseball to Charlotte

Anonymous said...

I would trade the horrid weather of Charlotte for that of Central Pennsylvania. That way we could enjoy all four glorious seasons and not just the one and a half we get here.

margeclements said...

I would trade the Knights for my Cubbies; sure that we could figure out how to get ivy to grow on the outfield wall at Knights Stadium...and you would not even have to move the team downtown. The Cubs fans would find it and go there! We could call it Cubs Park like Wrigley used to be and create a "Cubbieville" trendy neighbourhood around the park. Of course, you would have to replace all local sportscasters with ones that know and understand baseball and forget about the college stuff that they currently promote. (who cares?) I think that there are enough Chicagoans here in Charlotte to get a core group of fans going...how about it Lou? It's a little warmer here and not likely to snow on opening day!

Anonymous said...

Trading the mayor? For Richard Daley? the son of the machine? then, we would REALLY have gang problems....with the ORIGINAL gang!

Trees for nightlife? not so much...they keep the place worth living here...

Carolinas barbecue for crab shack? sure, but, a better choice would be a decent hot dog/pizza joint....

Anonymous said...

to the first poster...it's "money for nothing"

I'd replace all the uptown yuppies with hippie chicks.

You didn't see much of Baltimore. It's a slum.