tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25620415.post114658991339723400..comments2024-02-17T05:13:24.552-05:00Comments on Tommy's Table: The last-gate bluesUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25620415.post-1147091440760820662006-05-08T08:30:00.000-04:002006-05-08T08:30:00.000-04:00The grocery store theorem, collarary I:The self-ch...The grocery store theorem, collarary I:<BR/><BR/>The self-checkout will be the shortest line, however, the person in front of you will be chosen randomly from the following list:<BR/><BR/>1. 80 year old grandmother who stands in front of the touch screen and stares at it for 10 minutes before someone comes over to help her.<BR/><BR/>2. Large woman with 5 kids buying two carts full of stuff and paying with food stamps, which can't be done at the self-checkout.<BR/><BR/>3. Man and wife who zip thru the whole transaction, then realize they forgot one last item and one of them runs back to the store to get it while you wait.<BR/><BR/>4. The guy with two items and one of them doesn't scan.<BR/><BR/>5. The 40 year old woman who scans everything, but the last item rings up 10 cents higher than she remembers it should be, so she calls over the attendant to argue about it for 10 minutes.Jasonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12618851639006662690noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25620415.post-1146841634710989532006-05-05T11:07:00.000-04:002006-05-05T11:07:00.000-04:00"The law of being late for an appointment" This la..."The law of being late for an appointment" <BR/><BR/>This law comes into play when one is running a tad bit late leaving one area of Charlotte to get to an appointment on time in another area of Charlotte. This law states that all traffic signals will be red upon your arrival at them. To facilitate the above law, Section 2, subsection 4.763 states that you must get stuck behind a driver, preferably a large truck doing 25 mph in a 45 mph zone on a busy two lane, no passing zone road that features many traffic signals.<BR/><BR/>Section 3, subsection 1.01 states that you must pass through at least one construction zone, preferably on a the same busy two lane, no passing zone road described in Section 2, subsection 4.763 and that you will arrive there when traffic from the opposite direction currently has the right-of-way.<BR/><BR/>Section 4, subsection &*#%! states that in the event that you may actually get to the area that your appointment is located in with time to spare to confortably arrive on time, you will run into a detour caused by an accident that directly blocks your access to the parking lot of the building that your appointment is located in.Heruhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03733831470697356705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25620415.post-1146841351384855942006-05-05T11:02:00.000-04:002006-05-05T11:02:00.000-04:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Heruhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03733831470697356705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25620415.post-1146750586708049252006-05-04T09:49:00.000-04:002006-05-04T09:49:00.000-04:00As a mom, I can attest to the consistencey of this...As a mom, I can attest to the consistencey of this "law" - if you are about to go out of town, and your child has the sniffles, one of two things will happen. You'll take the kid to the pediatrician, who will roll his eyes at you for wasting his time over a trifle. Or, you will skip the pediatrician and go on with your trip, where your child will promptly develop strep throat with a 103 degree fever or a raging stomach virus, and you'll become more familiar than you ever want to be with the medical facilities at your vacation spot!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25620415.post-1146661246662558412006-05-03T09:00:00.000-04:002006-05-03T09:00:00.000-04:00If you really want to add to this list, check out ...If you really want to add to this list, check out this comprehensive list of Murphy's Laws:<BR/><BR/>http://www.murphyslaws.de/by_topic.htmMichaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16724304929284753847noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25620415.post-1146623615990065112006-05-02T22:33:00.000-04:002006-05-02T22:33:00.000-04:00In my former life as a traveling consultant, I exp...In my former life as a traveling consultant, I experienced this many times. On several occasions, I arrived in Atlanta at D-36, and my connecting flight went out of A-2, a distance of almost 2 miles. Usually with about 20 minutes to make the connection. When I had a couple of hours, the gates would end up right next to each other. I figure that the gate scheduling is handled by the same computer that changes fares 200,000 times an hour.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25620415.post-1146615822556810312006-05-02T20:23:00.000-04:002006-05-02T20:23:00.000-04:00I've often said that if you and one other person a...I've often said that if you and one other person are the only two people in the locker room at the Y, it must be a law of physics that your lockers will be right next to each other and you will have to get out of one another's way.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com